I Got rejected 570 times: 4 Lessons I Learned That Built My Resilience.

We all hear the cliche adage that “rejection is God protection”, although I believe that the divine one ( for me, its Jesus Christ) has a way of using our lack of acceptance to change our path. But, what happens when rejection is not redirection or protection, but it's more of a nudge to keep going. As, a college student, you have many dreams. Some of you dream of becoming the next Michael Jordan or the first person in your family to be wealthy or to cure a disease. All those dreams are impossible to achieve if you do not know how to cope with rejection. In June of 2025, I embarked on a journey to organize and host my first networking event called, “Empowered To Thrive” and I was rejected 570 times. But, this was not in vain. I learned many lessons that built my resilience.

Rejection is not personal.

Before, I commenced my rejection story, let's take a look at some of the people you admired. Walt Disney who created the prominent, beloved animated characters Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck was rejected over 300 times when he was seeking financial aid from banks to fund his projects. Stephen King first novel, "Carrie" was rejected 30 times. Elizabeth Blackwell, the first female doctor was rejected 29 times from medical school. Apart from enduring rejection and becoming very successful after all their "nos" what do they have in common? They also possess the skills or the mindset to cope with rejections until they achieve their goals and they did not let rejections become their identity.

To reiterate, I was rejected 570 times. I am a novice in the event organization space, however, I made a smart choice to get a mentor. My mentor Dylan Smith who successfully planned and organized events for years taught me how to sell tickets. The first rule is: “people do not like to be sold to”, but people like an offer that they deem valuable. If you position a business or service as, it will be valuable to the person, most likely you won them over. Dylan, advised me to talk to people over the phone or in person. I was encouraged to talk to twenty people per day about the event. I started with my warm leads, those are my friends and family who know me, like me and trust me.  For context, I had over 600 numbers stored in my phone, these are from years of going to events. I can honestly say I did not make an effort to form a relationship with most of them. I only spoke to roughly 5/600 people regularly. Although I appreciate those five people I built a friendship with; I wish I had been diligent in forming a rapport with the other 595, but it is not too late to start and I started, that will be another story for another time. But, the rejection did not come from those 595 contacts because I did not speak to all of them about the event. 

Rejection is redirection.

As a student for life, I took the advice of my mentor and spoke to strangers about my networking event. I live in New York City, the place that does not sleep, so after work I went to different events. My friend “CI” hosts a networking event on Fridays at a restaurant. I saw these two gentlemen sitting together, I approached them because I was 6 people away from completing my "home work assignment". I told these gentlemen about my networking event and how it would benefit them because they would be educated by experts on how to create generational wealth without sacrificing their health etc. They looked at me and said, “no, we do not want to come to your event, but that was courageous of you”. I saw the look in their eyes that says, “I wish I was brave as you to pursue my dreams”. Rejection means that I am putting in effort. I believe that before someone can tell you, “no” you have to have the courage to take the step and put yourself out there. I celebrated my courage and my effort by saying a mantra, “atleast I DID IT”. This mantra helped me to cope with the heart break of rejection, because I realized I was brave enough to go after something I want. I am encouraging you to create a powerful mantra that will help you cope with rejection. This mantra can be a Bible verse, a quote from someone you admired or something you make up. 

Rejection is God protection.

Most of us have heard the saying to do business with your friends. What happens when your friend tells you “no”? Because believe it or not, your friends will sometimes tell you “no”.  I was on the phone with my friend “DH” . I excitedly told her about my first networking event that I am organizing and how beneficial it will be for her to build relationships with other entrepreneurs and like minded individuals. “DH” said, “no”, but I remember something my mentor taught me, which is lesson two. “Rejection is not personal”, rejection is not an attack on you. Sometimes when someone says, “no” it's because of other reasons that have nothing to do with you, such as they had a prior engagement. Or they are dealing with their own struggles of accepting someone like you. For example, my friend, "KJ", a strong black woman interview for an executive assistant position at a big corporation that’s ran by dominantly white males. Although "KJ" has ten years experience as an executive assistant with impeccable recommendations; she was rejected, but that was not personal, that has to do with the internal struggles of the people running the company. It shows that they  have limited understanding  on how diversity contributes to a company success. I also strongly believe that when someone is making a decision about you based on a small snippet of information, such as a resume, college essay or a pitch, "rejection is not personal". They are not saying you are not capable. They do not know you well enough to make it personal. I see this as: “they have not caught on to how brilliant or how valuable I am yet”. As, a believer in Jesus Christ my identity is loved and wanted according to John 3:16 and Galatians 2:30. You should not take on unwanted/unloved as your identity because it will be detrimental to your growth and successes in all areas of your life.

Create a mantra to cope with rejection.

This challenge my mentor gave me to talk to twenty people per day about the “Empowered To Thrive Networking Event” left me with scars but also many friends. Two weeks before the event I was at El Taco Restaurant in the city. I spoke to fourteen people about the event and needed to speak to six more people. I saw these couples, I went up to them and started a casual conversation. After, I pitched them the idea of the event;  they looked at me and said, “sorry, no”. I was disappointed and rejected simultaneously, it broke my heart in pieces. I had to take a short break before continuing with this dare. Lesson three, rejection is painful and it is human to take a break in between rejections to tend to the wound; practice self compassion, then continue to pursue the dreams. 

Self compassion to cope with rejection.

Rejection is a part of life, it is something we all have to go through whether as an entrepreneur or a career person climbing the corporate ladder. Sometimes rejection is not a sign that you should quit, but a sign that you are close to your “yes”. In the end over forty people came to my "Empowered To Thrive Networking Event" and I believe that they were the right people who needed my service and message. Your thriving depends on your resilience. I hope that you utilize the lessons in this blog.

Which tip(s) will you implement in your life?